tBS – Car-ma

Title: Car-ma
Author: Saydria Wolfe
Fandom: NCIS
Characters: Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Timothy McGee, Ziva David
Prompt: Gun
Word Count: 1,107
Warning: No beta, Dead Air Fix-it, McGee bashing, Ziva Bashing
CNET = Chief of Naval Education and Training
Author’s Note: Yeah, I added to it since it went up on the Workshop.
Summary: McGee learns to fear retributive justice.



Tim tenses when the door behind him opens. He tenses even more when Gibbs slides through the door and plants himself on the seat directly behind him.

“So,” Boss slams his door, making Tim jump. “Where’s Tony?”

Tim’s hand twitches towards the volume control before he can stop himself and then closes his eyes, furious at the self-incrimination of it. “Uh, Tony? Boss?” He asks.

“Tony, you know Tony. Anthony DiNozzo, my SFA.” Gibbs raises a single eyebrow. “The man you’re supposed to be out here backing up.”

Ziva starts to turn to Gibbs.

“No, don’t turn around. I don’t want to see your face right now.” He also doesn’t want them to see the zat gun he’s holding over his lap but that’s neither here nor there. “So. My SFA. Out here, facing down domestic terrorists and god knows what else all alone because you can’t be bothered to do your job. What’s that in your lap? Pick it up and show it to me.”

Ziva holds up her book.

Man in the Iron Mask,” He identifies, all over furious. “And you, McGee? Popular Mechanics. That’s what’s more important to you than my SFA’s life. Popular Mechanics is more important to you than Tony’s life.”

“Life?” McGee squeaks. He swallows audibly and starts to shake like Gibbs hasn’t seen him do hasn’t since before Ari. “Boss, is he okay? What happened?”

“What happened was my SFA ran alone into something dangerous that is so far above your paygrade you can’t even know it exists. He ordered you to leave to protect you. When you didn’t respond appropriately to his orders to clear out, we hacked your feed to find out what happened to you and where you were. Come to find out you didn’t listen to him for even half an hour. You violated procedure, you abandoned your partner in the field, and now an unknown number of sailors will die because there is still a terrorist cell on the loose and we are no closer to catching them than before you came out here. All because you couldn’t be bothered to do your job.

“Worst of all, what Tony stumbled into is so Top Secret -no, David, you don’t get to turn that on now- I can’t even properly punish you for it because of the number of people we would have read in to do so.

“But -and this is the part that really sucks for you- against orders, you created recordings of something so stupidly Top Secret that you are both about to be labeled threats to national security.” Gibbs smirks and takes a casual sip of his coffee. “What’s that going to do to your dad, McGee? Admiral John Joseph McGee. Do you think his career will survive being the father of a threat to national security? Will it survive having raised a traitor? What about his reputation? His clearance, his command, his retirement. No way he’ll make ‘CNET in five years’ after that.”

Tim shakes harder, muttering “oh, god,” under his breath over and over.

Gibbs waits for McGee to make it three rounds… and then three more before he offers, “Or.”

“Or? God, Gibbs. Boss. Please, or. I’ll take or.”

“Or, you can have a mysterious car crash from which your body will never be recovered. We will take you so far away that you can’t possibly meet anyone you knew in this life even if you tried and you’ll be useful. In exchange you’ll get a new identity, a good paying job, and your father will never know what a terrible human being he raised.”

“Okay,” McGee nods quickly, swallowing several times. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“What about me, Gibbs?” Ziva asks silkily, “Will I be useful?”

Gibbs snorts. “No, compared to these people you are a barely trained thug and that’s exactly how they view you. Except, of course, for the group that really likes Tony and views you as an immediate threat to his physical person. They’ve asked me to kill you. I’ve been promised your body will never be found.” Because it won’t exist thanks to the zat gun but, regardless. “The kindest option I have for you is memory loss. It’ll be permanent, everything from around the time you murdered your brother on will be irrecoverable. We’ll blame it on the head injury you’ll sustain during McGee’s wreck. Of course you’ll still be labeled a threat to national security for the other things you’ve done and never be allowed back in the states but if you want we can fudge your id and hide you in an institution. In, say, Germany?”

“No.” She says firmly. “You cannot do this to me. Lose my memories? Lose my life here? I have done nothing to deserve this.”

“You’ve done everything to deserve this,” He growls. “Espionage, treason now that you’re an American citizen, and today dereliction of duty. Not only of your own free will and you’ve lead McGee by the nose into too, that’s conspiracy. You could face a tribunal and be killed for this and it would all be completely legal.”

“No,” she reaches for the door handle and he zats her. She falls forward into the still closed door.

“Prison it is.” He hits the button and the shiny little penis folds back down.

McGee reaches out to pull her upright. “Boss? Is she?”

“Knocked out.” He assures his former team member. “She’ll be fine in a few hours. Start the car, McGee. Head for the highway.” He pulls on the ear bud he was given and activates it. “Daedalus, this is Bastard One. Headed to Rendezvous Bravo now with two prisoners.”

“Roger that, Bastard One is en route to Rendezvous Bravo.” The nervous little lieutenant comes in loud and clear. “Bastard Two left a request for a status update, sir.”

“Tell him he called it. Status on Bastard Two?”

“Bastard Two is on station and proceeding with,” She hesitates. “A dramatic entry, Bastard One.”

That’s his boy, Gibbs grins. “Ten minutes to rendezvous,” And he turns off the device.

“Take a left onto the highway, McGee.

“And, for the sake of clarity, I was on board with the plan to put you in a hole. Making you a Missing Persons that would never be solved.” Gibbs breathes carefully and looks out the window. “Your actions today could have forced me to bury a second child and I’m never going to forget that. Never going to forgive it either. But Tony spoke up for you. Again. Like he always does. Remember to thank Tony for saving your life the next time you see him.”



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  1. *sings IN JAIL! In JAIL without no BAIL!* See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!

  2. Tim is lucky to get a choice and sensible enough to take it. Ziva is too arrogant for her own good, but she doesn’t deserve any consideration considering all she has done.

  3. Tim/Ziva bashing well deserved. Enjoyed seeing Gibbs being his 2nd B’s for B*$^*&@.

  4. I never knew I needed this in my life until now .

  5. Giggles galore, this was wonderful.

  6. I’m very much cackling on the inside right now! This is everything they deserved for that stunt. And it’s just like Tony to stumble into SGC territory by accident.

  7. Any and every version of Ziva and Tim being held accountable and suffering for turning off the comm while Tony is risking his life in the hope of identifying terrorists is good in my book. I regret that Tony spoke up for Tim, but it seems pretty IC that he did so.

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