Author: Saydria Wolfe
Fandom: MCU and Criminal Minds
Relationships: Daisy Johnson/Penelope Garcia
Author’s Notes: Thanks to PN for giving me a direction. I honestly had no idea where to take this.
Challenge: Just Write Trope Bingo, Square: Pretend Couple
Beta: PN Ztivokreb
Word Count: 1,363
Summary: I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody!
“Finally!” A warm hand settled on Penelope’s forearm and she turned to see an adorable brunette with a smile cute enough to rival her God of Chocolate Thunder just beaming at her. “You would not believe how long it took me to find you.”
“It’s pretty crazy in here,” she agreed. She was really confused though.
Before Penelope could ask a question the strange cutie pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear, “Help me. I’m being followed and I really don’t want him to get me alone.”
Penelope gave her a squeeze and pulled back. “Why did you leave? I told you I had your ticket.” She immediately started digging in her purse for Reid’s ticket. It wasn’t his fault he was sick and she could never leave another girl in a tight spot.
“Yeah, but I wanted my jacket,” Stranger Cutie took the ticket and kept Penelope’s hand. “You know how cold they keep it when all the machines are running.”
“Can’t damage the hardware,” Penelope agreed. Was this girl…into computers too? She didn’t look like the stereotypical hacker, but then again, Penelope knew she didn’t either. Not anymore, at least.
“You said,” Stranger Cutie gave her an awe-shucks smile, eye roll, and headbob combo that almost had Penelope cooing.
“Daisy,” a man grabbed Stranger Cutie by the arm almost yanking her out of Penelope’s grasp.
Pen held on and made him drag them both.
“Excuse you, what are you doing?” she demanded as they stumbled to keep their feet.
The man was muy caliente with the height and the muscles and the smouldering eyes. He looked like he belonged with Derek in a pinup calendar. But he also had a hateful fury in his face that reminded her of the team’s last spree killer and that was not a good category for anyone to be in in her head.
“What the hell, Grant?” Daisy, apparently, pulled herself free of November’s Spree Killer of the Month.
“You stole my drive,” this Grant growled. “And you’re going to give it back.”
“Haha!” Daisy said all loud and awkward. People were starting to pay attention and it was making Grant nervous. Good. “No! I didn’t do anything! Jeeze, I’m on a date with my girlfriend. What the hell, Grant. Why won’t you leave us alone?”
“Your girlfriend?” Grant said with disbelief. “Right. What’s her name?”
“Penelope Garcia,” Pen supplied, holding out a hand. “FBI. And, you are?”
Grant looked at her for the first time and looked even more disbelieving. “FBI? You?”
“With the BAU,” she agreed. “Would you like to see my ID or should I just call my Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner? You look exactly like the kind of man he likes to talk to in his spare time.”
“Interviews,” Pen corrected herself. “For academic and future profiling purposes. Profiles can never be too accurate, right? Should we schedule you for an appointment?”
“We’ll be watching you, Johnson.” Grant glared one more time at them both and pushed away through the crowd.
“…Ex-boyfriend?” Penelope asked.
“We never really got that far?” Daisy said cautiously.
“Good.” Penelope nodded and refrained from clutching her chest in relief. “You deserve better.”
“Yes, I do,” Daisy agreed, eying her speculatively. “How do you feel about coffee?”
“I love it,” Penelope grinned. “But I’ve been waiting for FutureCon for months and I don’t want to miss a thing.”
“That name is terrible,” Daisy snickered.
“Agreed,” Penelope conceded. “But they roped Tony Stark into a panel.”
Daisy’s jaw dropped. “No way.”
“Yes way, three hours of him answering questions on green energy, artificial intelligence, and nanotechnology.”
“Oh, my god,” Daisy put a hand on her own chest like she had to steady her heart. “We should get our seats now.”
“You promised me coffee,” Penelope reminded her.
“Seats first, I want to be close enough to smell him. Then, I’ll go get coffee,” Daisy promised.
Penelope squeezed the hand she was still holding and led Daisy through the crowd. “You should give me your number. Once we are seated. To make sure you can find me again.”
“That was almost smooth,” Daisy teased.
Penelope just shot her an unrepentant grin. Cuteness, interested in technology, with a side of coffee? She was totally going to keep her.
“Are you really with the FBI?”
“Really, really. I’m a Technical Analyst.”
Daisy grinned. “You’re a hacker!”
She was so pleased, Pen was charmed. “And you?”
“I prefer the term hacktivist, personally.”
“I might have done a little bit of that myself,” Penelope agreed. “That’s how I ended up with the FBI.”
“That’s how I got the attention of SHIELD.”
Daisy’s face was complicated, Pen wasn’t sure what to make of it. “That how you met Tall, Dark, and Murderous?”
“He was my SO.”
Penelope stopped and turned to look at her. “You said you hadn’t gotten that far?”
“SO as in Supervising Officer. My field trainer, basically. After…after AC brought me on board and I realized SHIELD’s mission was actually necessary, Grant volunteered for the job. It was him or the Great Stone Dragon herself. I went with him.”
“The Great Stone Dragon?” Penelope asked, torn between horrified and amused.
“Well, she hates the nickname she actually earned and she is entirely terrifying and competent,” Daisy said. “I would totally trust her to save the entire family from dishonor. Even if that makes me basically Mushu in this equation.”
“So, you’re the mouthy one then?” Pen teased.
“So mouthy and so unprepared, and I look great in red.” Daisy winked at her and Penelope got them moving again. “Someday she’s going to find out I bought a leather jacket and aviator shades to pretend to be her and intimidate a guy into hacking his own bank for me.”
Penelope laughed. It sounded so ridiculous but…SHEILD. SHIELD explained everything.
“When that day comes, I will probably become an unsolved missing person’s case,” Daisy finished with a shrug.
“At least you didn’t blow up the Emperor’s Palace. Right?”
“Not yet,” Daisy agreed.
They got to the room the Stark Panel was scheduled for and there was already a line. Penelope huffed in disappointment but Daisy just shot her a smile and walked to the head of the line.
Penelope watched, kind of in line and kind of not, as Daisy marched right up to the suited men guarding the door and leaned in to talk to them. She had no idea what the other woman was saying but the man started nodding. Daisy turned back to her and nodded.
Cautiously, unsure she was doing the right thing, she walked up to join Daisy and the guard.
Before she could say anything, Daisy pulled her through the door behind the man and into the largest room Penelope had ever seen dedicated to a panel.
“What did you do?” she had to ask.
“We’re government agents.” Daisy smiled. “We’re checking the A/V system for cyberthreats for the protection of Mr. Stark.”
“That’s the worst lie I’ve ever heard,” Penelope admitted.
“It’s those Mushu skillz.”
Penelope could hear the z at the end of the phrase and wondered if she could pull off an Emily Prentiss Facepalm. “Is the system even connected to the internet or is a microphone going to suddenly bite him?”
“We’ll find out,” Daisy said cheerfully. “And then we’ll get to sit just off stage and watch the whole panel—monitoring for threats, you know. We even get access to the catering provided for Mr. Stark.”
Pen blinked. That was…a lot more than just good seats. “I heard he gets his coffee imported.”
“Tony Stark gets the best coffee,” Daisy agreed. “I read a security brief about him months ago. He refuses to speak anywhere if there isn’t coffee from at least three different countries on offer. Gourmet coffee. Hand brewed by a chef.”
Heaven. It sounded like Heaven. “We’re going to actually play with their systems, right? Since you told that guy?”
“Of course.” Daisy looked at her in surprise. “I’m not that big of a liar.”
Penelope grinned and snuck a kiss onto Daisy’s cheek. “Best pretend girlfriend ever.”
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